I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
