You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
