Nicole vs. Life
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
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