yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
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