just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
