We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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