Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
