Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
