I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
