Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
