sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
