I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
