I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Of course I have a pirate flag
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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