I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Randomize
