it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
