I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
