wakey wakey hands off snakey
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
