Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
