Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
