I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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