Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
