help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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