I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I need help removing her.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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