if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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