We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Someone stole a lamp last night.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
