I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
