I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
so that wasnt chicken after all
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Randomize