im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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