there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
