Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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