i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
