hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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