i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
