i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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