I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
