theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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