I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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