You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
