oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
