Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
