The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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