You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Sober January is a disaster.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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