no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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