i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
