he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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