Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
