I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
