i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
