I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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