Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
