I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
