Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
