best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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