White coat. Heels.
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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