Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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