yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
