Rock
Scissors
Fuck
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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