i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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