david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
