I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
