Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
