Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Help. Why am I so naked?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
