Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
