Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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