okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
