your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
